Republic Party

Petty? Yes. Outstanding, you bet.

Americans love a winner, and will not tolerate a loser

My itunes randomly selected the opening speech from Patton earlier today. It'd been a while since I heard the whole thing. It's both incredible, and at times really funny.

Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. You won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Men, all this stuff you've heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to fight. All real Americans, love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball players, the toughest boxers ... Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in Hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war

Slaughter Rule

Did someone tell Thailand that you get to have a goalie in hockey?

Kazakstan beat Thailand in hockey pool play 52-1. That's kind of a dick move, to beat a team by 51 goals. It's not a 15-1 drubbing would have been less resounding. Were the Kazaks playing for fantasy points? Were they recruited to play by Spurrier?

Slaughter Rule

Did someone tell Thailand that you get to have a goalie in hockey?

Kazakstan beat Thailand in hockey pool play 52-1. That's kind of a dick move, to beat a team by 51 goals. It's not a 15-1 drubbing would have been less resounding. Were the Kazaks playing for fantasy points? Were they recruited to play by Spurrier?

Talking Points on Democrat Party

http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/012199.php

"You address people the way they choose to be addressed. You address them by what they consider to be their name. In the ordinary course of life, when people do otherwise, we rightly recognize that they're trying to pick a fight or demean the person in question."

Josh Ritter

Went to the concert last night. Josh was really outstanding. He was in fine form. It's the first solo concert I've seen since Minneapolis. Which, incidentally was the last time I had a chance to chat with him at all. I found out last night that he remembers me, but I think it's mostly as connected to Ann and Ellen. Ann and I went up to chat with him after the concert. It was nice. He's fun and awkward and silly. It's not really an act on stage, he is that gawky. But then he starts to sing and you're amazed by his depth of emotion and skill with words. It's awfully fun to go to his concerts. I've seen more of his concerts than anyone else, and enjoy them more than almost any I've been to. I know all the lyrics. I know (a little) the performer. I know the background of the songs, and some of the references. It's really a lot of fun. Here's to being able to see Josh perform for years and years. Each album I worry that it won't be as good, that I'll be disappointed. I have more invested in his music than say, Modest Mouse. A bad MM album is a series of poor choices by people I never knew, and couldn't recognize in a crowd. Were Josh Ritter to release a crummy album I'd take it personally. Like Oberlin failed. Like someone I sorta kinda vaguely know made a mistake. But so far so good. And it really has been so good so far, his music continues to amaze me.

Michael Vick

From SNL. Hey, SNL was funny. Go figure.

"You should get an entorage and the first member of the entourage should be Michael Vick's weed holder." I'm sure he can find someone for that job, just don't hire Tony Romo.

Neil Young: Musical Bumblebee.

"It's one more kid never get to go to school
never get to fall in love
never get to be cool."

Listening to Rockin' in the Free World. It's a truly awful song lyrically, but somehow it's still a great song. It's Neil Young sort of crooning and grating his way through these fairly cliche lyrics with moderately interesting music and some how it works. Neil Young seems beyond explanation. He's like a bumblebee. It shouldn't work, but somehow it does.

Pronunciation question

The new general in Iraq: David Petraeus, I haven't watched TV or listened to the radio recently so I don't know how to pronounce his name. I mean no disrespect, but is it pronounced so it rhymes with Betray Us? Or Bet Me Us?

This is how faith works

PELOSI: He's tried this two times — it's failed twice. I asked him at the White House, 'Mr. President, why do you think this time it's going to work?'
BUSH: Because I told them it had to.
PELOSI: Why didn't you tell them that the other two times?

Good to see that all it takes is a command for something to work.

Why did Boise State run a hook and ladder? Because I told them to.
Why the ancient Greeks compete in the olympics naked? Because I told them to.
Why did people vote for Ruben Studdard for American Idol? Because I told them to.
Why did Brittany and Kevin break up? Because I told them to.


Man this works for everything.

That's something I'd drink

I got a Spam message with the subject: "statesmanlike bottle of beer."

I don't know what that means, but I'd be interested in drinking it. Does it refer to Sam Adams? I guess he wasn't really statesmanlike, more revolutionary than that.

Jaw Dropping Stupidity

There is one kind of key that opens every Diebold voting machine. They posted a photo of that key online. Turns out it's very easy to replicate a key using only that photograph. But have no fear, your votes are safe.

Here is a little post on the matter.

Lay off the POTus

John Kerry officially announced today that he would not run for President. I wonder what it must feel like to have millions of people actively and fully cheering your decision not to seek specific employment. I can't really fathom knowing that entire cities sleep easier knowing that I don't want to become a surgeon, or pilot. It's one thing to be hated by those who oppose you. But to have millions of people who voted for you thrill to the news that they won't have that chance again, that's gotta be weird. It's like the political version of an intervention.

"John, we care about you, but seriously you gotta lay off the POTus. We're worried about you. We know that we've been enabling you, but you need to hear us and believe that's going to stop. We're not going to let you rip us apart. You sit there all day staring black light campaign literature and making incoherent defenses of your position on the war. John, you need help. We don't want this to become a gateway office, soon you'll be trying for PCP (Professional Catholic, Pope). Maybe you can take some time, talk to Michael Dukakis, or Steve Forbes."

Learning Curve

Given that Bush has struggled for years to differentiate between Sunni and Shiia I guess it makes sense that he has trouble with Democrat and Democratic.

I for one would like to proudly affirm that I'm from the Macacacratic wing of the Democrat Party.

Spam or Science

I have an RSS for ScienceDaily and I love to just breeze through the various new developments in research. Today one headline caught my eye. It looks like one of those strange autospam messages.

"Rodent Sperm Work Together for Better Results."

Doesn't that seem like some sort of potion that you could order to help improve your sexual performance. It's a horrible image, I grant you. But it's a fine line between science and Spam.

State of the Union

Was I the only person who heard the President congratulate the "Democrat" Party on its victories? Was I hearing things? I know that it's an all too common thing for Republicans to insist on mispronouncing or botching the name of the opposing party. It's a great insight into their school yard bully mentality. Yes, if you make fun of someone's name or intentionally mispronounce it you are clearly cooler. Hell, maybe next someone can congratulate the Macacaratic Party.